Asked and Answered
by Kay

Chris started the group, and Chris was the one to end it. On a day like any other (well, in the lives of the members of *NSYNC, anyway), he sat them down and made the announcement, all seriousness for once.

Chris refused to keep whoring himself out and having his life picked apart by millions of people, fans and critics alike. He wanted out. He was their foundation, and when he started to crumble, the rest could only follow.

Justin, who had never really known anything but life in the spotlight, had reeled under the lash of what Chris had said. He couldn't imagine life outside the group--he'd grown up there--and basically begged Chris to reconsider. His words, sobbed and hardly recognizable, had come from the depths of his soul. Lance remembered: "Chris, you can't do this to us!" (Lance knew he really meant me.) "Please, Chris...please don't..." But Justin had known the battle was already lost, just like everyone else knew. He'd allowed Chris to hold him as he'd cried, for hours. But when morning came, Justin had wiped his eyes and turned away. The world of fame, which had never been able to break him and make him build up walls, never had to. It was all accomplished by a night of tears and pleas to a best friend who remained unbending. Lance and Joey had stood by and seen how it tore Chris apart to lose Justin like that. They had seen how it disenchanted Justin into becoming nothing more than a slick veneer to the outside world, if only to shelter the raw emotions and, if Lance guessed correctly, a broken heart.

As if the deterioration of Justin and Chris' relationship hadn't been hard enough to witness, there was still the matter of JC. Josh, who had only ever wanted to make music, whose soul was cleansed every time he performed, setting his gorgeous voice loose from the cage of his body. Emotions that flowed so easily from his voice, his eyes, and his pen were the very emotions he couldn't express to the rest of them. It had been painful to watch his gradual withdrawl, knowing there was nothing to be done to stop it.

By the time the end came, Lance felt vaguely like a war survivor--one who had witnessed haunting things that would stay with him for the rest of his life, things that would jerk him awake from nightmares, shaken and sweating. Maybe he was exagerrating, but as surely as the group had dismantled, Lance had been changed. If *NSYNC, something that had been so wonderful and perfect in his life, could be torn apart, was there anything that couldn't? He'd had Joey at the time, though. They would have been able to help each other once the split was final, heal wounds and provide each other a shoulder to cry on. But that's not how it worked out. Lance's world was upside-down; everything in it was in upheaval. At the time, his relationship with Joey had been the farthest thing from his mind. It was his own stupidity that had led him to push the one person he loved most in the world away. It was too close to the end, he'd reasoned. Too far from redemption...

But it was all in the past. Lance knew that, but it didn't keep him from remembering the days before the end, fixating on their happiness, mourning for a love that could have lasted forever. Should have lasted forever.

And he truly believed that it would have...if only circumstances had been different. True, he never would have met Joey if it hadn't been for the group, but he also never would have lost him if not for the entity known as *NSYNC. Not that he blamed the demise of their relationship entirely upon the group--How could he?--but it had certainly been the deciding factor.

He pushed himself up from the chair he'd been reclining in, berating himself mentally for musing over something that had happened half a decade before. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he wandered to the bay window at the front of the house. He stood before it, gazing out at the snow drifts that had been mounting steadily since the day before. Sighed.

"Another Christmas alone, huh?" he asked himself aloud. "As if it's not pathetic enough that I come here every year, remembering that last Christmas with Joey." Here, he laughed derisively. "I can't even bring myself to decorate the place. No lights, no tree, definitely no Christmas music. Will I ever get on with my life?"

His question hung in the air, unanswered. He decided to curl up on the window seat to watch the snow falling. In a few minutes, he felt himself being lulled to sleep by the steady dance of white flakes. The phone began to ring in the background.

He let it ring.

***

"C'mon, c'mon, Lance! Pick up...I know you're there," Joey muttered to himself, mind racing as he counted the rings before the machine picked up.

One.

He almost couldn't believe it. He'd been on the road, on the way to his parents' house, flipping stations on the radio. He stopped on a country station to hear a song he liked and was about to change stations when it was over, but then one of those announcers came on the introduce the next song on the countdown.

Two.

He'd said something to the effect of: "And now the newest release from Meredith Edwards' latest album. The young star just keeps rising, but she told us recently that she never could have done it without her manager, former *NSYNCer Lance Bass. In fact, Lance even contributed to the album artistically, writing the song that's next on the countdown. Here, up 3 from last week, is Meredith Edwards' "Asked and Answered" at number 7."

Three.

Joey immediately turned up the volume at the mention of Meredith, but his jaw dropped when he found out Lance had actually allowed a song he'd written to be released. Oh, Joey knew Lance was a terrific songwriter, even though nobody else did. He'd encouraged Lance endlessly to let the others see some of his work, but Lance had always refused, claiming that his words expressed his deepest dreams and emotions. He couldn't bring himself to share them with the rest of the guys, much less the world. It showed just how much he loved Joey that he'd opened himself that much, letting Joey see him at his most vulnerable.

Four.

And now he was baring those emotions for all to see. And they were pretty damn personal, too. Joey had heard the opening strains of a love ballad and pulled off to the side of the road, wanting to devote his full attention to Lance's music, even if it was Meredith's voice presenting it. It might sound a bit vain, but he knew within the first few lines that the song was written to him.

Joey heard the machine pick up and Lance's voice telling him to leave a message. Here it was, the moment of truth. Joey had a choice: He could make a step to bridge the gap between them or he could take the easy way out, hanging up on what could be his last chance to reconcile with Lance. What was it going to be?

Beep.

***

Lance yawned and checked his watch, pushing the indiglo button so that he could make out the hands in the dark. 8:30. He'd actually slept that long on the little window seat?

He groaned, stretching his cramped legs. He'd missed calling his assistant, Terri, about the contract renewals. He knew he should get up and check the machine, as she had undoubtedly left a message, but he didn't want to just yet. He was content to look out the window, seeing not the darkness that blanketed the snowy surroundings, but a very different scene.

~~~~It was that Christmas again. He and Joey were building a snowman together under the nearest cypress tree, laughing and making up new lyrics to old Christmas carols. After one particularly perverted chorus to "Jingle Bells" (amended by Joey into a rousing "Jingle Balls"), Lance stealthily gathered handfuls of snow and then shoved them down the back of an unsuspecting Joey's sweater.

Lance couldn't hold back his laughter as Joey shrieked and danced about wildly, attempting to rid himself of the freezing ice. "Oh, it only the fans could see you now," he taunted. "Even I didn't know you could sing higher than Chris!" A pause. "Ooops. Bad idea," he muttered to himself as Joey began to approach, a murderous look crossing his usually-merry features. He circled Lance like a predator closing in on its prey, preparing to pounce...

But Lance didn't wait around. He took off across the snow, occasionally slipping on patches of ice. He pushed himself to run faster as he heard Joey in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, gravity was working against him when he came to one particularly slippery patch, and he fell on his butt in the snow. He struggled to get back to his feet, but by then Joey was there, pinning him to the ground.

"Wait a minute," Joey puffed, out of breath. "I'm not going to exact my revenge on you quite yet, so you don't have to run away." He gave Lance a concerned look that quickly turned evil. "I'll at least make sure you're okay before I do anything...wicked," he said pointedly, grinding his hips down.

Lance was keenly aware of the possibilities of a warm Joey on top of him, pinning him and breathing heavily. But he was even more aware of the fact that the snow under him wasn't exactly comfortable and that his butt was extremely cold. At least he thought it was cold. He couldn't really feel it anymore at that point.

"You can get revenge any way you want," Lance said. "Just as long as it's inside. I'm too cold out here."

Joey stared down at him, a small smile playing across his lips. He reached a hand out and, to Lance's surprise, plucked a snowflake out of Lance's eyelashes. Then, bringing his fingertip up to his face to examine the captured snowflake, he winked at Lance before eating it, all white teeth and warm, nimble tongue.

When Lance shivered, it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Aww...are you really that cold?" Joey teased.

"Well, I'm lying on my back in the middle of a snow drift. What do you think?" Lance asked sarcastically, but not without noticing the even huskier-than-usual quality his voice had taken on.

"I think it's time we went inside to warm you up," Joey replied, smiling at the double entendre and helping Lance up.

Lance followed Joey back to the house without protests.~~~~

"Dammit!" Lance said, angrily wiping a tear from his cheek. "Why is it always worst at Christmas time? The rest of the year, I can make it just fine, stay busy enough not to remember. But come the holiday season...Then again, it probably wouldn't be so bad if I weren't masochistic enough to come back here every year. And apparently, I keep getting more and more pathetic...Must be watching too much Passions because I'm crying and talking to myself like that idiot Theresa."

Lance got up and headed to the kitchen, pointedly thinking to himself rather than talking to himself. Just as he'd decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich, however, he noticed the answering machine light blinking, indicating he'd gotten a message. Right, Terri had called. Lance grabbed a pen and pad to write down anything important, then settled in front of the machine and pushed play.

His pen, poised over the paper to write, almost fell out of his hand when he heard a distinctly masculine voice. Definitely not Terri. It was Joey, no doubt about it.

"Lance," Message Joey said. There was a long pause, as if Joey was deciding exactly what to say or gathering the courage to say anything at all. Then, softly, "I never stopped," followed by a soft click.

Lance sat frozen, hardly daring to breathe. Joey had heard the song. Lance didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but deciding that he'd cried enough already, he laughed instead. There was his answer, clear as day. Joey still loved him.

Lance had felt emotionally stripped when he'd decided to let Meredith release the song. She had loved it and practically begged him to let her sing it, so he'd reluctantly acquiesced, feeling foolish for the tiny flame of hope sheltered in his soul that whispered maybe, just maybe, Joey would hear the song and come running back to Lance, full of forgiveness and with open arms. So it might not be open arms and kisses, but the message was definitely a step in the right direction. As he listened to the message over and over again, Lance was grateful for the gamble he'd made in releasing the song.

When he finally went to bed later that night, he slept more peacefully than he had in a long time.

***

As the first rays of dawn crept into Lance's bedroom, a dark figure accompanied them, tiptoeing to the bed.

Joey paused mid-step, gazing raptly at Lance's sleeping figure. Bathed half in soft sunlight and half in shadows, he looked completely at peace, beautiful as he slept. Joey almost didn't want to disturb him, but he couldn't just stand there forever...

So he drew back his arm and pelted Lance with the snowball he'd shaped outside.

Lance shot up immediately, shouting "What the--" before his eyes focused on Joey. It was almost comical how quickly Lance's expression softened. "Joey?" he asked incredulously. "This can't just be some cruel dream, I can feel how cold that snowball is..." He trailed off as realization dawned. "Wait a minute, the first time you come here to see me, you throw a snowball at me AS I SLEEP?!?" Lance narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, but the desired effect was ruined when he shivered.

A wide grin spread across Joey's face as he regarded Lance's attempt to be reprimanding. "Consider it your punishment," he announced airily.

"Punishment for what?"

"Hell if I know. I just felt like getting back at you for that snow down my shirt the last Christmas we spent here together," said Joey.

As Lance began to protest, Joey rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me," Joey demanded, effectively silencing him when he covered Lance's mouth with his own.

And when their hearts met in the deep kiss, they found their home in each other, tongues and lips sparking magic and expressing their love more eloquently than any words or song ever could.

Outside, the morning mist was fading away and the sun had fully risen into the now-cloudless sky, spreading light into every dark corner. At that moment, Lance knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that true love existed and that he would wake with a smile on his face every morning thereafter, truly grateful for the treasure he had in Joey.

END.

A/N: The lyrics are by me.