Happy
by Kay

one

How could one person be so damn happy all the time? Chris couldn't understand it. Maybe because he had been in a bad mood all day, maybe because HE was supposed to be the permanently peppy and fun member of *NSYNC; whatever the reason, JC's irrepressibly sunny disposition was really pissing him off.

Chris had been perfectly fine to sulk all alone in the bus lounge...until JC had come bouncing in, a broad grin plastered on his face and some entertainment magazine clutched in his hand.

"Hey, Chris! Did you see the article for the new Star Wars movie in here?" Not even waiting for a reply, JC babbled on (Chris had noticed that JC was particularly fond of babbling). "It sounds so exciting because George Lucas wrote--"

Chris cut JC off before he could finish his thought. "Yeah, yeah. Star Wars," he said curtly, waving a dismissive hand. "Don't know, don't care." He sincerely hoped JC would take his not-so-subtle hint and go away. Unfortunately, JC had other ideas.

"Awwww...C'mon Chris," JC cajoled, plopping down beside him. "It's a really great article," he said gesturing toward the magazine in his hand.

Chris rolled his eyes and snatched it from his friend. "Fine," he bit out. "I'll look at it." With that, he set the magazine face-down on the table beside the couch. He expected JC to drop the over-cheery attitude and get frustrated with him. How overly optimistic of him.

"Chriiiis," JC whined playfully, pulling at Chris' arm and pouting at him. "Will you read it now? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

Chris wanted to turn him down, wanted to make JC angry enough to get up and leave him in peace. But with JC's warm hands on his arm and JC's sparkling azure eyes gazing up at him through his long, dark lashes, Chris found him pretty damn impossible to resist. His already-foul mood darkened even further when those irksome and highly improper thoughts of JC began careening through his mind. Chris angrily jerked his arm out of JC's warm (and oh-so-inviting) grasp and swiped the magazine off the table.

"Anything for you, JC!" Chris spat sarcastically, roughly flipping through the magazine in search of the article.

Apparently unruffled by Chris' nasty behavior, JC smiled broadly. He leaned toward Chris and Chris started at his sudden movement.

"What are you doing?" he asked JC, voice full of suspicion.

JC simply continued to smile and, rather than answering, gently flipped the pages until the magazine was open to the article.

Dammit! Chris thought. Why does JC have to be so nice when I'm so obviously in a bad mood? Why doesn't he just leave me alone?

Chris decided it was JC's way of torturing him even further...flashing that grin at him, touching him, being so nice and happy. Hell, he was practically flaunting in front of Chris' face the fact that he could never get what he wanted. At least, not from JC.

Chris tore his mind from his thoughts and his gaze from JC's. He grunted to show his annoyance, then turned reluctantly to read the article. Luckily, it was pretty short. If it had been much longer, he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on it, feeling JC's intense gaze on his face as he read.

He snorted as he finished the article.

"What? What is it?" JC demanded.

"Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones?!?" Chris scoffed. "That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not," argued JC. "I can only assume it's called that because it's about the Clone Wars. Don't you remember from the first trilogy?"

"Yeah, well. Whatever it is, it's stupid. It makes it sound like some bad B-movie from the 50s."

Instead of being upset that Chris had just insulted his favorite series of movies ever (like Chris had hoped he would be), JC laughed.

Laughed.

Ohhhh...no. Chris was so not in the mood for this. "What are you laughing at?" he demanded.

"You, Chris. What else?" Correctly interpreting the insulted look that crossed his friends face, JC was quick to clarify his statement. "I mean, you're right; it does sound just like one of those cheesy old horror flicks."

"Hmph," Chris grunted, tossing the magazine back into JC's lap and crossing his arms. "Of course I'm right." Casting an annoyed look in JC's direction, Chris waited for him to leave. When JC remained sitting next to him, staring at his stony profile, Chris finally turned back to face him. "Wellllll? Are you just gonna sit there all day?"

JC continued to stare at him, and Chris was starting to feel more than a little unsettled. Then a wicked smile (What? JC was smiling wickedly at him? What kind of daydream was Chris having here?) crossed JC's features.

"Nope," he said.

"No, what?" Chris asked blankly, unable to remember what he had asked JC. All he could focus on were the beautiful features that had been making frequent appearances in his dreams as of late. The beautiful features that were moving closer and closer until...

"No, I'm going to do more than sit here," JC whispered, just before his lips met Chris'.

JC couldn't remember a time in his life when he had ever been this happy.

He knew that Chris was in a foul mood, but that didn't stop JC from going into the lounge to cheer him up. It was only fair that he try to share his joy with one of his very closest friends...especially the very close friend with whom he'd like to be more than friends. But that was beside the point.

After reading an article about the second Star Wars movie in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, JC decided that it was a good enough excuse to go in and talk to Chris. He could at least TRY to get Chris out of whatever funk he had been in all day long.

JC entered the back lounge cheerfully, glad to see that Chris didn't look TOO unapprochable. He flashed his smile, the one that Chris usually laughed at for all it's goofiness. Hmm...not this time. Undeterred, JC greeted Chris brightly. He was only going to ask Chris if he'd read the article, but then his mouth just seemed to take over. More and more lately, he'd been prompted to babbling in front of Chris simply because his brain refused to work when those chocolate-colored eyes were focused on him.

JC winced inwardly when Chris cut him off abruptly. Damn. He was in a really bad mood this time. JC decided that leaving was not an option, however. It was just time to change tactics. Imploring always seemed to work on Chris.

Taking a seat next to his friend, JC tried to convince him to read the article. It appeared to be working until Chris snatched the magazine and tossed it down, obviously not intending to read it. Time to pull out the big guns. Begging. *Sigh* JC always hated this part.

He put on his best puppy dog face. "Chriiis," he whined, careful not to get too overdramatic, pulling on Chris' sleeve for added emphasis. "Will you read it now? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

He smiled when Chris broke eye contact and reluctantly picked up the magazine, spitting a nasty comment at him to show that he was still bitter. Oh, yeah! Chalk one up for me! JC thought. He grinned even wider at the childish antics Chris used as he searched the magazine for the article, ill-temperedly flipping the pages. JC leaned forward to help Chris find the article, but Chris whipped around to face him.

"What are you doing?"

Geez, you would've thought JC was trying to molest him or something from THAT reaction. Not a bad idea, JC mused, but quickly turned his thoughts back to the task at hand. He simply reached out and opened the magazine to the article, watching with great satisfaction as Chris turned back to read it.

JC continued to gaze at Chris as he read the article. His brow was furrowed, he was chewing on his lower lip, and his leg was doing that ever-present bouncing thing. JC thought it was pretty adorable. Chris finished the article and promply snorted.

JC couldn't imagine what was so funny about the article.

"What?" he asked, curious.

Chris proceeded to tell him that the movie had a stupid name. Oh, no...he did NOT just insult Star Wars! JC quickly restrained his thoughts, putting on a patient and understanding face. He explained the name to Chris, and Chris responded in his trademark way.

"Yeah, well. Whatever it is, it's stupid. It makes it sound like some B-movie from the 50s," Chris said scornfully.

JC couldn't help but laugh, even though he knew that was NOT what Chris wanted to hear at that particular moment.

True to form, Chris got pissed and demanded why he was laughing. JC reassured him that it was because he had been right about the name of the movie. No need for him to make Chris even angrier. Chris tossed the magazine into JC's lap, then sat back to sulk.

JC kept staring at him, almost as if he were caught up in a dream. His eyes explored Chris' face (set in a stubborn frown) and his dejected pose (arms crossed over his chest, back slumped), until Chris turned back to face him and asked, "Wellll? Are you just gonna sit there all day?"

JC tried to control himself, he really did. But that grin...it started to spread across his face, and there was just no stopping the direction his mind was leading him.

"Nope," he replied.

"No what?" Chris asked. JC fervently hoped that the look that crossed Chris' face as he leaned toward him WASN'T one of disgust.

"No, I'm going to do more than just sit here," he answered. Then he leaned forward that final inch to brush Chris' lips with his own.

JC thought he was in love.

For the next few moments, Chris knew nothing but unadulterated joy and pleasure. The warm press of JC's lips (which just so happened to be a lot softer than Chris had ever thought they would be) was nothing short of heavenly. But after all the time he had spent longing for this...something about the abruptness of it all was nagging him.

But then JC's mouth opened and his tongue ran along Chris' lower lip, making him lose the ability to think coherently at all. Chris let out a little moan, and JC responded by angling his head to the side to deepen the kiss, teasing Chris' mouth open.

It wasn't until JC's tongue invaded his mouth to stroke along his own tongue that Chris stiffened, then jerked away. JC's eyes flew open in surprise, and Chris couldn't help but stare at the object of his adoration...sitting a few scant inches away, gasping for breath, and licking the lips that had been on his own just a moment ago. Enticing as the picture was, Chris had to get back to the matter at hand.

"Ummm...JC?" he asked.

"Yeah?" JC replied, a slight smile playing upon his lips.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Chris asked suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" JC asked, shifting nervously.

"Why did you kiss me?" Chris clarified.

"Didn't you WANT me to kiss you?" JC looked confused.

"What made you think I wanted you to kiss me?" Chris didn't like the direction this conversation was headed.

"Can we use anything other than questions in this conversation?" JC laughed nervously, attempting to divert Chris' attention.

Chris' eyes widened. "JC, answer my question," he demanded.

"Oh, I guess we can. But, umm...which one?" JC joked weakly.

"ANY of them!" Chris bit out, exasperated.

"Well, uh--" JC tried to find the right way to word his answer without pissing his friend off even more. "Okay, here's how it is..." he trailed off again.

"Damn, JC!" Chris exploded. "Just tell me why you kissed me!"

"Well, I kinda just wanted to test the waters a little bit--" JC paused to take a breath, but Chris cut him off before he could finish his explanation.

"Oh, great! You mean you decided to use ME to experiment?!?" Chris was incredulous. "Well, I didn't sign up for your little trial run, so why me?"

"No, Chris! Please calm down, it's not like that," JC pleaded, trying to find away to get out of the hole he'd started digging for himself.

"Really?" Chris crossed his arms across his chest in a defensive position and cocked his head to the side. "Then pray tell what it IS like."

"Uh, well...I kinda got the impression that you WANTED me to kiss you. I was just trying to, ummm, see for myself," JC explained.

"You 'got the impression'?" Chris asked, trying to put everything together. "You wanted to see for yourself?" Oh, no. Chris did NOT like the sound of this.

"Yeah," JC nodded. "I wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking on my part, I wanted to find out if it was true."

"Shit!" Now Chris understood. "You wanted to find out if what SOMEONE ELSE HAD TOLD YOU was true, didn't you?"

JC flinched at the accusatory tone of Chris' voice. He tried to avoid Chris' gaze by lowering his head, but it was already too late. Chris had seen the truth.

"Who...told....you........" Chris' speech slowed as realization dawned. "Oh my God." When Chris looked at him, JC recoiled from the anger burning in his eyes. "Justin-fucking-Timberlake!" Chris yelled, jumping up from his seat and stalking out of the room.

JC remained sitting on the couch, staring at Chris' retreating back in shock. Could he really have made such a huge mistake in judging Chris' actions?

Apparently, he could. It wasn't like Chris had recoiled in horror when he'd kissed him, but Chris had certainly seemed unsettled when he'd pulled away. JC flushed in embarrassment. Shit! Just because he thought he'd seen a chance when Chris might be open to something more, he might have just ruined the easy, friendly familiarity he and Chris shared.

What he didn't understand was Justin...

***

...who at that very moment was asleep in his bunk. That is, he was asleep until Chris ripped the curtain open and physically tore him out of the bunk.

"What the?!?" Justin shrieked when he hit the floor of the bus. Hard. "Shit, Chris! What are you doing?" he asked angrily, rubbing the back of his head as he struggled to lift himself off the ground.

But Chris moved faster. He grabbed the front of Justin's t-shirt and hauled him off the ground, slamming his back up against the bunk he'd just pulled him out of.

"What am I doing?" Chris hissed angrily between clenched teeth. "Wrong, Justin, what the hell did you think you were doing?"

Justin stared down at Chris, shocked by his friend's display. Chris was usually so laid-back...Justin had only seen this side of him a couple of times in the entire time he'd known him. "Ummm, Chris? What are you talking about? You're kinda freaking me out here."

"Oh, you wanna talk about freaking out? Well, I'm currently freaking out on your ass because, apparently, you don't know how to keep quiet something I told you in confidence," Chris accused.

Justin's mind whirled in confusion. "Wait a minute, just what are you saying I did?"

"Damn!" Chris let go of Justin and backed off, taking deep breaths to calm himself. "Are you actually this shallow, or does it take special practice? I mean that you. told. JC." Chris enunciated carefully and slowly, exaggerating for Justin's benefit.

Justin ignored the insult, instead shaking his head. "No, no, no. I did not betray anything to JC."

Chris was the confused one now. "What? Well, if you didn't tell JC about my feelings for him, then who did?"

"I DID!" Justin practically shouted.

"What the hell?!?" Chris yelled, advancing on Justin once again.

Justin held his hands in front of him as a placating gesture to ward off Chris. "Yes, I told JC that you liked him. But that's not the same as betraying your confidence."

"How do you figure?" Chris asked sarcastically.

Justin ran his fingers over his scalp, forgetting that the curls were no longer there. "I had to tell him, man," he sighed. "There was no way I could look him in the eye and lie about it."

"Why would you have to? It's not like he would come up to you to start a casual conversation with a lead-in like, 'So, Justin...Is Chris in love with me?'" Chris laughed bitterly. "No, Justin. I don't believe that for a minute. If this is anyone's fault, it's yours."

"That's where you're wrong," Justin retorted, growing angry. "It's all YOUR fault."

"What!"

"If you weren't so blind and stupid..." Justin trailed off. He decided to take a different approach. "Why don't you tell me exactly what lead you to be in here right now bitching me out?"

Chris was suddenly antsy. "Ummm...well, JC kinda..." he mumbled the rest of his answer, avoiding Justin's gaze.

"What was that?" Justin questioned, trying to hide his smile. He knew that would only make Chris angrier. Predictable bastard.

Chris' head snapped up and his eyes burned into Justin's, angry again. "He KISSED me, dammit!"

"Oh, is that it?" Justin asked nonchalantly.

"Isn't that enough?" Chris demanded.

"Well, that all depends upon how you look at it," Justin replied, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Justin, can't you be serious for one minute!" Chris snorted in disgust. "He kissed me because of you. You're the one who said I liked him. He told me he was 'testing the waters.' Great, so I get to be some experiment so JC can see if he's gay. Didn't you even think of my feelings?"

"Chris," Justin sighed. "I'm sorry. But you're looking at this all wrong. I told him for a reason, dude. Think about that for a while before you come accusing me of anything."

With that, Justin turned on his heel and stalked out on Chris, leaving him to consider what Justin had said.

***

JC stumbled back to the lounge. He had wanted to find Chris and apologize for misreading everything, but when he'd reached the bunk area, he'd heard him arguing with Justin. He'd paled as he realized Chris was telling Justin that he'd kissed him. JC had decided to listen, hoping beyond all hope to hear that Chris was okay with it, that Justin had been telling the truth when he'd told JC that Chris liked him. But he didn't hear what he'd hoped.

The first thing he'd heard out of Chris' mouth was an accusation. "If this is anyone's fault, it's yours!"

Great. Chris thought it was just one big mistake. Other snippets of the argument rang in his ears as he curled up on the couch and began to cry again.

"He KISSED me, dammit!"

"Great, so I get to be some experiment so JC can see if he's gay."

"Didn't you even think about my feelings?"

JC had never felt lower in his life. It didn't matter what he'd thought, he never should have made a move on Chris. If he had been able to withold his feelings for the last couple of years, he shouldn't have jumped on him the first time he thought he might have a chance. Who knew how this could screw up the group? JC didn't know that he'd ever be able to look Chris in the eye ever again. Oh, that would be great for the group interaction!

JC had stood in the shadows until he couldn't stand to listen any longer. After Chris had said he'd just used him to experiment and hadn't thought of Chris' feelings, he had left. And so here he was. On the same couch he had been sitting on when he'd made the stupidest mistake of his life. Only now he couldn't smell Chris on the pillow anymore. He could only feel the wetness of his tears as they soaked the material, lulling him to sleep.

Final part five coming soon to a computer screen near you!